the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
