How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
