i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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