i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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