He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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