I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
