$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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