Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
