i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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