The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
