I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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