Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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