Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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