As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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