So drunk its hurt
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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