if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
