so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
