i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
