a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
