I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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