you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
