She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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