oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
