even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
