I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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