pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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