I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hippo gnu deer
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
