She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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