Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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