Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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