maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize