are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
