So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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