I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
