And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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