I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
