thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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