ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
