my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
