I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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