I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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