i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
