She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
