I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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