i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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