I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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