mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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