is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
