Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
