All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
