I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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