I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
