there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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