Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
