Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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