covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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