I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
birth control should be required to get into college
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
