if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
