First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
