I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
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She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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