apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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