roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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