There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dick very happy bro
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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